If I tried to describe the opportunity that is my life right now, PRIVILEGED would be one word I use. But the truth is, I don’t know how I would begin to describe what I feel. My heart, my soul, my life; I feel so PRIVILEGED, so blessed, so…beyond words. I don’t know how I ended up here. So often I look around and life feels so surreal to me.

I love my life in Haiti; sometimes I wrestle with how much I love this country and how easy the decision to be here was-I think to myself ‘if it’s so easy to be here, does that mean it was the wrong decision? Isn’t life supposed to be hard? If following Gods will was this easy then wouldn’t everyone do it?’ Then I have my ‘hard’ days that help balance out how much I love where God has called me.

I think of the ‘hard’ things I have to endure; the heat met with a cold shower-sort of ironic and not that bad. The mosquito’s that think I’m covered in sugar, internet that cuts out in the middle of conversations or just won’t work at all, electricity that switches on an off more than I change my clothes.  Then I look around at the extreme poverty, the tent city outside my bedroom window, the piles of trash and rubble that spill into the street and I think about my ‘hard’ internet or mosquito issue and I feel disappointed in myself.

View of the tent city out my bedroom window.

Being in Haiti may not be easy compared to the life I was living in the states, but when I look out the window at the tent city I am knocked into reality at all the PRIVILEGES I have in my life. I look out at the ocean and the beautiful sunset from my porch; if I close my eyes I can feel a breeze, in the same way that one can will away a headache, I can feel a breeze.

Sunset over the ocean off my back porch in Haiti.

I need to step away from the small picture, the heat, the lousy internet and look at the big picture; I’m healthy, happy, blessed, and PRIVILEGED. Thank you Lord for the gift of yesterday, the presence of today, and the dream of tomorrow.  

(Thank you to Bob Chandler for planting the PRIVILEGED seed in my head through Privileged Productions )

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.”

Proverbs 3, 5-6


Posted on May 3, 2011, in 2011. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Thank you for the mention, Tara. More importantly, I’m very happy to read about your outlook on life. To share in some of your innermost thoughts is an honor. To your question about whether you are doing what is “right”, my personal feelings may be of some interest to you. I think we sometimes must push ourselves to do what is difficult, but there is a great, important difference between being responsible to our own emotional growth and our spiritual evolution. One must try to differentiate between the two, as one matures. It is my personal feeling that, if we are staying true to ourselves and following the inner voice of our soul, we frequently feel as though we are flowing WITH the current of our energy. It is at those times we should reflect (as you are learning to do) upon our most sacred values, desires and principles. If you feel “comfortable” and at peace with what you are doing, I think it is a very encouraging sign that you are indeed following the Mission you were destined to fulfill. It is a sense of belonging and stepping in stride with one’s surroundings – meaning, the people, places, energies surrounding you. Feeling it is more telling than thinking it. You know what I mean. Sometimes, I think “grace” means knowing when to stop intellectualizing and just feeling from within. As I always say, “trust your intuition”. It speaks the truth. 🙂 Love you.

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