Two years and still too hard…
How fitting was the verse in my devotional today:
“Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” -2 Corinthians 6:10
For those of you who know me well know that today is the two year anniversary of the passing of one of the most special people in my life. Todd and I grew up together at the lake with a group of people that are more than friends and more than family. I replay the day and week he passed away over and over in my head sometimes, wishing I could change it, somehow go back. I see him in so many things in my everyday life, something will happen that reminds me of him or I hear his voice in the morning hours during sleep and awake.
Today as I was working at a children’s home with a team I saw Todd in the faces of the children; children who are orphans-both true orphans and orphans of poverty. Todd loved kids and I think of him often when I am working in the children’s homes here in Haiti. He had so much life ahead of him, but for whatever reason that I cannot understand, not do I think I ever will-his life was cut short.
I can’t think of a better way to have spent today than with the children watching them play on the swing set, chase each other around and wrestled like any other kid in the world. It is a beautiful world out there, and the people in it hold equal beauty-especially the children. I feel so blessed by every moment God has given me. The loss of Todd has taught be the value of each of these moment. I know that although I may be hurting today, I cannot spend too many moments filled with tears- Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing. So today I enjoyed the group, I looked for the beauty and life in each team member. I enjoyed the children and thought of the life ahead of them, how amazing they will each be. Although we may not know our purpose until this life is over, we must have faith in God and his plan; we must walk boldly down our path committing to each day as it was our last.
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do and he will establish your plans.” –Proverbs 16:3